About 18 month ago, I upgraded to GirlFriend™ 1.0 from DrinkingMates™ 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble.  However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run GirlFriend™ 1.0 with the sound turned off.  To make matters worse, GirlFriend™ 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as BoysNightOut© 3.1, Football© 4.5, FlashCar™ 2.5 and Playboy© 6.9.  Successive versions of GirlFriend™ proved no better.

I tried a shareware program, Slapper™ 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.

Eventually, I tried to run GirlFriend™ 1.2 and GirlFriend™ 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other, they cause severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiancée™ 1.0 only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife™ 1.0.  While Wife™ 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSexPlus and CleanHouse 2004.

Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife™ 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run.  Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in Wife™ 1.0’s memory and could not be deleted.  Then they resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.  Wife™ 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning launch TurboStrop and Whinge.  These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.

Additional problems are that Wife™ 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShopBrowser for new attachments and HairStyleExpress which needs to be installed every three weeks.  Wife™ 1.0 also spawns unwelcome child processes that are a heavy drain on my resources.

Also, when Wife™ 1.0 attaches itself to my Audi TT hard drive, it often crashes.  Wife™ 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called Mother-In-Law, which can’t be turned off.

Recently I’ve been tempted to install Mistress™ 2005, but there could be problems.  A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife™ 1.0 detects Mistress™ 2005, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.